240+ Funny Car Jokes & Puns for Kids, Drivers & Laugh Lovers
Buckle up, laugh lovers — your ride to the funniest car jokes on the internet starts here! Whether you’re a parent searching for school-safe laughs, a driver needing a giggle on the go, or a meme-lover crafting the perfect caption, this collection has every joke tuned up and ready to roll.
Inspired by top humor sites like Beano, Punsify, UpJoke, and CarTalk, this isn’t just another list of tired one-liners. We’ve loaded up on kid-friendly car jokes, garage and mechanic jokes, Tesla and Uber humor, and even road rage and license plate puns — all clean, clever, and ready to share.
Built for teachers, families, content creators, and commuters, this ultimate joke guide is perfect for lightening the mood — whether you’re making a classroom laugh, breaking traffic tension, or writing a hilarious birthday card.
So start your engine, flash that smile, and honk if you’re ready for non-stop laughter. 🚦🚗💬
Funny Car Jokes
1. Why can’t cars play soccer?
Because they only know how to kickstart.
2. What did the car say to the mechanic?
“I’m exhausted!”
3. What’s a car’s favorite type of music?
Autograph rock.
4. How do you catch a squirrel in a car?
Climb a tree and act like a nut!
5. Why did the car need a nap?
It was drained.
6. Why did the traffic light turn red?
It was feeling embarrassed.
7. How do cars play poker?
They shuffle the deck.
8. What kind of car does a Jedi drive?
A Toy-Yoda.
9. Why don’t cars ever get lost?
They always follow the road signs.
10. Why was the car always so polite?
Because it knew how to brake when necessary!
11. What do you call a convertible in winter?
A chilly ride.
12. Why don’t cars ever get tired?
They always get re-tired!
13. What’s a car’s favorite snack?
Tire chips.
14. What’s a car’s favorite exercise?
Chassis lifts!
15. How does a car stay fit?
It exercises its brake pedal!
16. What’s a car’s favorite holiday?
Drive Day.
17. What do you call a singing car?
A muscle car.
18. What kind of car does a dinosaur drive?
A T-Rex!
19. Why do cars hate traffic?
They just can’t handle the pressure.
20. Why did the car go to therapy?
It had brake problems.
21. What’s a car’s favorite part of a joke?
The punchline!
22. Why don’t cars ever gossip?
They always exhaust themselves.
23. Why did the car get a ticket?
For speeding into the wrong lane!
24. What do cars do after they graduate?
They get automatical degrees!
25. How do cars stay in touch?
They always keep their contacts.
26. Why did the sedan feel so fancy?
It was a luxury vehicle.
27. What’s a car’s favorite type of joke?
A wheel pun.
28. Why was the car tired of being a taxi?
It was exhausted from all the fare.
29. Why don’t cars ever fail exams?
They always have good traction!
Clean Car Jokes for Kids & Classrooms
1. Why did the car bring a backpack to school?
Because it was ready to hit the books!
2. Why was the little car always quiet in class?
Because it didn’t want to exhaust the teacher.
3. What did the pencil say to the car?
“Draw me a map—I’m lost!”
4. Why did the race car get an award?
Because it zoomed through math class!
5. How does a car take a test?
With drive and focus!
6. Why did the minivan join the talent show?
It had a lot of hidden trunk-ent!
7. Why was the steering wheel always turning in class?
Because it was trying to stay on course!
8. What’s a car’s favorite classroom rule?
Always signal before switching topics!
9. Why did the car raise its antenna?
To ask a question in radio class!
10. What do you call a smart car?
A bright idea on wheels!
11. Why did the school bus go to therapy?
Too many emotional pickups.
12. What kind of homework do cars hate?
Brake-down assignments!
13. Why did the tire roll into science class?
It heard they were studying pressure!
14. Why don’t cars sleep in class?
Because they don’t want to stall their learning.
15. How did the little car ace the spelling bee?
It spelled out every lane!
See also 180+ Clean & Funny Jokes for Kids
Car Crash Jokes
1. Why don’t cars ever get into accidents?
They always know when to brake.
2. What do you call a crash involving a car and a tree?
A root cause of the problem!
3. Why was the car’s bumper upset after the crash?
It felt bumped around.
4. What do you call it when two cars crash and start a band?
A wreck-ording group!
5. Why did the car crash into the wall?
It was trying to get to the point.
6. How did the car feel after the crash?
Exhausted.
7. Why was the car’s insurance policy so mad?
It couldn’t handle the crash.
8. What do you call a car crash involving two friends?
A fender-bender with a bond.
9. Why do cars make bad comedians after an accident?
They’re just tired of the punchlines.
10. What do you get when a car crashes into a circus tent?
A clown car!
11. Why was the car always nervous about driving?
It was afraid of crashing into something it couldn’t handle.
12. What did the car say after the crash?
“I’m crushed by this situation!”
13. Why did the sports car crash during the race?
It got too riled up!
14. What do you call it when two cars crash and then apologize?
A reconciliation crash.
15. Why did the sedan crash into the fence?
It just couldn’t fence itself from the mistake!
16. What do you call a car crash at the ice cream shop?
A sundae crash!
17. What do you call a collision between a car and a pile of bricks?
A brick-tacular accident!
18. Why was the car sad after the crash?
It was having a rough day.
19. What did the car say to the tow truck after the crash?
“You really towed me down today.”
Traffic & Driving Jokes
1. Why did the stop sign break up with the green light?
Because it needed space!
2. Why don’t traffic lights ever get into arguments?
They always know when to stop.
3. What did the driver say after passing a yield sign?
“I’ll take that as a suggestion.”
4. Why was the traffic jam so polite?
Because everyone took turns!
5. Why don’t roads ever get lonely?
Because they’re always connected.
6. What’s a traffic light’s favorite game?
Red light, green light!
7. Why was the driver late to work?
He took a detour to his dreams!
8. Why do GPS systems make terrible comedians?
They always take things the wrong way.
9. How do traffic cops stay so calm?
They always keep things under control.
10. What do you call a confused driver in a roundabout?
A circle thinker!
11. Why did the car blush at the stoplight?
Because it saw the other car’s bumper!
12. Why don’t drivers tell secrets in traffic?
Because the lanes have ears!
13. What did the road say to the driver?
“Thanks for keeping me in the loop.”
14. Why do some drivers avoid rush hour?
Because it drives them crazy!
Mechanic Shop & Garage Repair Jokes
1. What do mechanics eat for lunch?
Spare ribs and lug nuts!
2. Why was the car always in the garage?
Because it had too many issues to drive itself crazy!
3. How do mechanics stay cool during summer?
They chill under the hood.
4. What did the car say to the mechanic?
“You auto fix me!”
5. Why did the mechanic break up with the engine?
It just wasn’t running smoothly anymore.
6. What’s a mechanic’s favorite type of music?
Heavy metal… with a lot of torque!
7. Why don’t mechanics ever get tired?
Because they rotate their energy!
8. Why did the garage get promoted?
Because it always kept everything in gear.
9. What’s a mechanic’s favorite snack?
Brake chips!
10. Why did the mechanic bring rope to the repair shop?
To tie up loose ends!
11. What did the apprentice say after his first oil change?
“I’m really drained!”
12. Why did the mechanic get an award?
He really knew how to spark change.
13. How do mechanics throw parties?
With full throttle and zero brakes!
Customer Complaint & Car Service Jokes
1. What’s a customer service agent’s favorite exercise?
Squatting to answer calls.
2. Why did the customer care representative always smile?
They knew that a happy call makes for a happy day!
3. Why did the customer service agent take a vacation?
They needed to recharge their batteries!
4. Why did the customer call the service line with a donut?
Because they needed some sweet help!
5. Why don’t customer service agents need a gym membership?
They’re already great at multitasking.
6. How do customer service agents stay organized?
They make sure to file all complaints away nicely.
7. Why do customer service reps like playing chess?
Because they’re experts at thinking ahead.
8. What did the customer service rep say to the upset customer?
“Let’s resolve this issue, and make sure it doesn’t go into checkmate!”
9. Why do customer service reps never get tired of answering calls?
Because they always pick up the pace!
10. What did the customer service agent do when they made a mistake?
They apologized and quickly put it on the back burner.
11. Why do customer service reps never get mad at customers?
They know it’s all part of the call of duty.
12. What’s a customer service agent’s favorite TV show?
The Fixer Upper.
13. Why did the customer service agent start talking in riddles?
To resolve problems in a creative way!
14. What’s a customer service agent’s favorite kind of movie?
Call of Duty, of course!
15. Why was the customer service agent always calm?
They were a master of de-escalation.
16. What do you call a customer service rep who’s always on point?
A resolution expert.
Road Rage & Highway Humor Jokes
1. Why did the driver carry a pencil on the highway?
To draw their own lane!
2. What do angry drivers use to calm down?
Cruise control… and a deep breath.
3. Why did the chicken get road rage?
Someone questioned why it crossed the road!
4. How do you know a car is mad?
It honks without warning!
5. What’s a road rager’s favorite game?
Cut-the-line Simulator.
6. Why don’t angry drivers ever win races?
They always blow a gasket halfway through.
7. What did the car say during rush hour?
“This traffic is driving me crazy!”
8. Why did the car go to anger management?
Too many outbursts in traffic.
9. What’s the calmest lane on the highway?
The carpool lane — it has company!
10. Why did the GPS stop talking?
It couldn’t handle the driver’s attitude!
11. What do you call a polite driver in a traffic jam?
A rare sighting!
12. Why did the minivan get a citation?
For excessive honking and poor attitude!
13. What did the angry driver yell at the traffic light?
“Make up your mind — red or green!”
14. Why did the car therapist quit?
Too many high-strung clients on the road!
License Plate & Registration Jokes
1. Why did the license plate go to school?
Because it wanted to learn proper tag lines!
2. Why was the registration so shy?
It hated being renewed in public!
3. What do license plates say at parties?
“Tag—you’re it!”
4. Why did the DMV hire a comedian?
To lighten the mood during registration lines!
5. Why did the car blush?
Its vanity plate said too much.
6. What did the expired registration say?
“I’m feeling a little outdated.”
7. Why are license plates so organized?
Because they always stay in order!
8. What did the car say to its new license plate?
“Nice to tag you!”
9. Why did the plate break up with the bumper?
It needed some space.
10. Why did the cop laugh at the plate?
Because it read: “LOL-4SPD”!
11. How do you flirt with a license plate?
Give them a personalized message!
12. Why was the registration paper always calm?
It knew everything was under control.
13. What do license plates dream of?
Driving off into the sunset — legally tagged.
14. Why was the license plate always confident?
Because it stood out in traffic!
Fuel, Petrol & Gas Station Jokes
1. Why don’t gas stations ever get lonely?
Because they’re always full of people fueling around!
2. Why did the car start dating the gas pump?
Because it filled a void in its tank!
3. What’s a gas pump’s favorite romantic movie?
“Gone with the Premium.”
4. Why do gas stations make terrible comedians?
Because their jokes are always pumped up.
5. What’s a gas station attendant’s favorite game?
Pump it Up!
6. Why don’t cars gossip at the fuel station?
Because the rumors are always combustible.
7. What do you call a lazy gas station?
Self-serve only — even the jokes!
8. Why did the car refuse to eat lunch?
It was already full of gas!
9. What song do fuel tanks sing?
“I Will Survive — until empty!”
10. Why was the gas station so dramatic?
Because every day was full of pressure.
11. What kind of jokes do gas stations tell?
Regular ones — never premium!
12. Why was the fuel pump promoted?
Because it was always on the rise!
Car Parts Jokes (Engines, Tires, Brakes & More)
1. What did the tire say to the road?
“I’m wheely into you!”
2. Why don’t brakes ever go to parties?
Because they always bring things to a stop.
3. Why did the car horn get in trouble at school?
Because it tooted its own horn too much!
4. What’s a battery’s favorite type of exercise?
Charging up the stairs!
5. Why was the spark plug always invited to parties?
Because it lit up the room!
6. What did the muffler say after telling a joke?
“Sorry if I was too loud!”
7. Why don’t tires make good comedians?
Because their jokes fall flat.
8. What’s a wiper’s favorite season?
Rainy days — it’s their time to shine!
9. Why did the steering wheel feel dizzy?
Because it kept going in circles.
10. Why did the oil filter take a break?
It needed to refine its thoughts.
11. What do you call a shy tailpipe?
An exhausted introvert.
12. Why was the engine so motivated?
Because it always had drive.
13. Why do headlights make terrible liars?
Because they always reveal everything!
Electric Car & Tesla Jokes
1. Why don’t electric cars ever get tired?
Because they’re always current!
2. What’s a Tesla’s favorite social media platform?
PluggedIn — it’s electric!
3. Why did the electric car bring a pillow?
It wanted to take a power nap.
4. Why are electric cars so calm?
Because they don’t have exhaust-ion issues.
5. Why don’t Teslas make good detectives?
They always reveal their charges.
6. Why was the EV student always top of the class?
Because it aced every current event.
7. What’s an electric car’s favorite snack?
Amp-berries.
8. How do Teslas flirt?
“Hey baby, you’ve got my voltage rising.”
9. Why do Teslas never get into trouble?
They always follow the current laws.
10. Why did the electric car stay in bed?
It needed more charge before the day could start.
11. What song does a Tesla sing in traffic?
“I Will Drive 500 Miles… silently!”
12. What do you call a funny Tesla?
A giggle-watt.
13. Why do Teslas make great friends?
Because they’re fully charged with positivity!
Taxi, Cab & Uber Driver Jokes
1. Why did the taxi driver get promoted?
Because he always went the extra mile!
2. What do you call a musical taxi?
A cab-a-rey!
3. Why did the cab quit its job?
It was tired of being taken for a ride.
4. How do taxi drivers stay so positive?
They never take things the wrong way.
5. What do taxis use to relax?
A car-matherapy diffuser!
6. Why don’t cab drivers like elevators?
Because they prefer taking people places horizontally.
7. How do you know a taxi driver is telling a joke?
You’ll hear it meter out slowly.
8. What’s a taxi’s favorite type of story?
A road trip tale.
9. Why did the Uber break up with the GPS?
Because it kept sending mixed signals.
10. Why was the cab driver always calm in traffic?
Because he’d seen worse in rush hour.
11. What’s a taxi’s favorite candy?
Car-amels!
12. What did the Uber driver say to the sleepy rider?
“Nap fares are not included!”
💘 Flirty Car Pick-Up Line Jokes
1. Are you a car alarm?
Because you just went off in my heart.
2. Is your name Tesla?
Because you’ve got me feeling electric.
3. Are you a convertible?
Because I can’t stop thinking about taking the top down and cruising with you.
4. Is your love a GPS?
Because you always lead me the right way.
5. Are you low on gas?
Because I’d love to fill you up with affection.
6. Are you made of chrome?
Because you’re shining brighter than anyone else.
7. You must be a red light…
Because every time I see you, my heart stops.
8. Are you an engine?
Because you keep me running all day long.
9. Are you a dashboard?
Because I want you right in front of me, always.
10. Do you have heated seats?
Because you make my heart warm.
11. Are you a tire?
Because you’ve got me spinning in circles.
12. Do you run on premium?
Because you’re high-quality and irresistible.
13. You must be the key to my ignition…
Because you start something inside me.
14. Are you a classic car?
Because you’re one of a kind and worth keeping forever.
15. Is your name Cruise Control?
Because you make my life so smooth.
Car-Themed Knock Knock Jokes
1. Knock, knock. Who’s there? Otto. Otto who? Otto know how to drive better than that!
2. Knock, knock. Who’s there? Honda. Honda who? Honda way to pick you up for our date!
3. Knock, knock. Who’s there? Vroom. Vroom who? Vroom, vroom — let’s go zoom!
4. Knock, knock. Who’s there? Tire. Tire who? Tire-d of walking — let’s take the car!
5. Knock, knock. Who’s there? Gas. Gas who? Gas up! We’re going for a ride!
6. Knock, knock. Who’s there? Beep. Beep who? Beep-beep! Your ride is here!
7. Knock, knock. Who’s there? Brake. Brake who? Brake it to me gently… the engine’s dead!
8. Knock, knock. Who’s there? Ford. Ford who? Ford-give me, but I really love your car!
9. Knock, knock. Who’s there? Jack. Jack who? Jack up the car — we’ve got a flat!
10. Knock, knock. Who’s there? Bumper. Bumper who? Bumper into me again and I’m calling insurance!
11. Knock, knock. Who’s there? Cruise. Cruise who? Cruise you look great behind the wheel!
12. Knock, knock. Who’s there? Tesla. Tesla who? Tesla time we take a ride!
13. Knock, knock. Who’s there? Drive. Drive who? Drive me crazy with those headlights!
14. Knock, knock. Who’s there? Limo. Limo who? Limo-ne tell you how awesome this car is!
15. Knock, knock. Who’s there? Gear. Gear who? Gear up — we’re going for a joyride!
Short Car Jokes & One-Liner Zingers
1. My car’s not old — it’s vintage horsepower.
2. I drive way better when there’s no one watching… especially the police.
3. That car’s so loud, it must be powered by ego.
4. I don’t speed — I just time travel briefly.
5. My GPS keeps saying, “In 300 feet, crash ahead.”
6. I named my car “Titanic” — it’s bad luck, but still floats.
7. Parking perfectly is my only superpower.
8. My car runs on coffee and broken dreams.
9. You can’t buy happiness, but you can buy a car — and that’s pretty close.
10. I asked my car how it’s doing… it said, “I’m tired.”
11. That engine purrs like a cat on espresso.
12. Honk if you love awkward traffic jams.
13. My car is so old, even Google Maps gets confused.
Funny Car Puns
1. I’m exhausted from all these car puns!
2. I’d tell you a car joke, but it’s a little driven.
3. You’re really wheely good at making me laugh.
4. My car’s been braking down lately.
5. Life’s too short to drive boring cars.
6. That was a tire-ing experience.
7. It was a real revelation when I figured that out.
8. I couldn’t find the car keys, so I just locked myself out of the situation.
9. He’s always driving me crazy.
10. We had a bumpy start, but I think we’re in the clear now.
11. He’s really exhausting me with all these stories.
12. She’s been steering me in the right direction.
13. I don’t trust that car; it seems a little suspicious.
14. I’m feeling really tired after all that driving.
15. You’ve sparked my interest with that idea!
16. I just can’t brake myself from laughing.
17. Let’s not fuel the argument anymore.
18. I had to recharge my car before it ran out of energy.
FAQs (Frequently Asked Questions)
Conclusion
After miles of giggles, groans, and full-throttle laughs, we’ve reached the final stop — and it’s safe to say, this ride was worth every joke.
From dad-level garage jokes to school-safe punchlines, mechanic one-liners, Tesla puns, and more, we’ve packed in a trunkload of humor for all ages. This isn’t just a joke list — it’s a laugh hub designed to entertain classrooms, social feeds, road trips, and anyone who’s ever had to deal with a “check engine” light.
So next time someone says, “Know any car jokes?” — you’ll be in top gear, ready to shift the mood with a punchline.
Because a great car joke doesn’t just shift gears… it drives happiness. 🛞😄
