160+ Funny Comedians Jokes And Puns To Keep You Laughing!
Comedians Jokes and Puns are the perfect way to lighten the mood and get everyone laughing. Whether you’re at a party, with friends, or just need a good laugh, these clever one-liners and witty puns can turn any situation into a comedy show. From quick punchlines to clever wordplay, comedians jokes are always ready to bring the laughs.
Start with a classic like, “Why don’t skeletons fight each other? They don’t have the guts!” or go for a punny twist with, “Why did the banana go to the doctor? Because it wasn’t peeling well!” These comedians puns are perfect for all ages, from kids to adults, ensuring that no one misses out on the fun.
Ready for more laughs? Just remember, comedians jokes and puns are not only about the punchline—they’re about the timing, delivery, and, most importantly, making everyone smile! Keep the jokes coming, and you’ll always be the life of the party!
Funny Comedians Jokes
1. What did the comedian say to the microphone?
“I’m here to make you laugh—no strings attached!”
2. Why don’t comedians ever tell secrets?
Because they can’t keep things under wraps!
3. How does a comedian start a conversation?
“Let me tell you something funny!”
4. What’s a comedian’s favorite type of math?
Stand-up geometry, because it’s all about angles!
5. Why did the comedian go to therapy?
To work on their punchlines!
6. What’s a comedian’s favorite workout?
The “laugh-lifting” exercise!
7. Why did the comedian quit their day job?
Because they were always getting punched in the gut!
8. What did the comedian say after bombing on stage?
“Well, at least I’m still good at failing!”
9. Why do comedians love playing cards?
Because they know how to deal with bad jokes!
10. What’s the comedian’s favorite snack?
Puns and chips!
11. Why are comedians like good movies?
They always know how to deliver!
12. How did the comedian greet the audience?
“I’ll try not to make you groan… but no promises!”
13. Why do comedians prefer the stage over a microphone?
Because it’s where they can speak up and deliver!
14. How does a comedian take care of their voice?
By doing voice exercises between jokes!
15. What do comedians do when they need a break?
Take a pun-ch break!
16. Why are comedians like bicycles?
They keep spinning new material!
17. What’s the comedian’s favorite city?
Pun Francisco!
18. What did the comedian say about their bad joke?
“It’s a no laugh zone.”
19. Why are comedians so good at comedy shows?
Because they always bring the house down!
20. What does a comedian do when they get nervous?
They laugh it off—literally!
21. Why did the comedian sit at the back of the room?
Because they didn’t want to be the punchline!
22. What’s the comedian’s go-to move?
Mic drop after a killer punchline!
23. Why do comedians enjoy the ocean?
Because they love waves of laughter!
24. Why do comedians make great detectives?
They always find the punch in every situation!
25. How do comedians break the ice on stage?
With a good old-fashioned ice-breaker joke!
26. Why do comedians prefer comedy clubs?
Because that’s where they can pull the punchline!
27. How do comedians keep their material fresh?
They freshen up their punchlines every day!
28. Why did the comedian get a promotion?
Because they delivered in the workplace and on stage!
29. What’s a comedian’s favorite weather?
Sunny with a chance of punchlines!
30. What did the comedian say when they couldn’t think of a joke?
“Looks like I’m out of material… for now!”
31. Why did the comedian tell their jokes on stage?
To get the reaction they’ve always wanted!
32. What’s a comedian’s favorite drink?
A shot of humor with a twist of sarcasm!
33. Why did the comedian break up with their girlfriend?
Because they couldn’t deliver a serious relationship!
34. What’s a comedian’s favorite type of movie?
A comedy, of course—because it’s always a good laugh!
35. Why did the comedian always carry a notebook?
To write down the funniest thoughts as soon as they hit!
See also 90+ Best Star Wars Jokes & Puns
Classic Comedians Jokes
1. Why don’t skeletons fight each other?
They don’t have the guts!
2. Why did the scarecrow win an award?
Because he was outstanding in his field!
3. How do you make a tissue dance?
You put a little boogie in it!
4. Why can’t you trust an atom?
Because they make up everything!
5. What do you call fake spaghetti?
An impasta!
6. Why did the tomato turn red?
Because it saw the salad dressing!
7. What’s orange and sounds like a parrot?
A carrot!
8. Why don’t oysters donate to charity?
Because they are shellfish!
9. Why did the bicycle fall over?
Because it was two-tired!
10. Why don’t eggs tell jokes?
Because they might crack up!
11. What do you call a pile of cats?
A meow-tain!
12. Why did the computer go to the doctor?
Because it had a virus!
13. Why was the math book sad?
Because it had too many problems!
14. Why did the coffee file a police report?
It got mugged!
15. Why did the banana go to the doctor?
Because it wasn’t peeling well!
Stand-Up Comedians Jokes
1. I’m on a whiskey diet.
I’ve lost three days already!
2. I used to be a baker,
but I couldn’t make enough dough!
3. I once went to a seafood disco.
I pulled a mussel!
4. Why don’t skeletons fight each other?
They don’t have the guts!
5. I don’t trust stairs.
They’re always up to something.
6. I have a fear of speed bumps.
But I’m slowly getting over it!
7. I used to play piano by ear.
But now I use my hands!
8. I’m reading a book about anti-gravity.
It’s impossible to put down!
9. I have a dog named “Five Miles.”
I walk Five Miles every day!
10. I got fired from the calendar factory.
All I did was take a day off!
11. I told my computer I needed a break.
Now it won’t stop sending me Kit-Kats!
12. I have a fear of elevators,
but I’m taking steps to avoid them.
13. I went to a seafood restaurant last night.
I pulled a mussel!
14. I used to work as a professional baseball umpire,
but I couldn’t call it quits.
15. I don’t have a “bucket list,”
but my “bucket” list is just to fill it with chicken nuggets.
16. I used to play piano by ear,
but now I use my hands!
17. I’d tell you a chemistry joke,
but I know I won’t get a reaction!
See also 100+ Funny Music Jokes And Puns
One Liner Comedians Jokes
1. I used to think I was indecisive, but now I’m not so sure.
2. Parallel lines have so much in common — it’s a shame they’ll never meet.
3. My math teacher called me average — how mean!
4. I ate a clock yesterday — it was very time-consuming.
5. I broke my finger last week, but on the other hand, I’m okay.
6. I don’t trust atoms — they make up everything!
7. I have a joke on construction, but I’m still working on it.
8. My friend didn’t understand cloning, so I said, “That makes two of us.”
9. I tried to catch some fog, but I mist.
10. Velcro — what a rip-off!
11. I’m reading a book on anti-gravity — it’s impossible to put down.
12. Did you hear about the kidnapping at school? It’s fine — he woke up.
Best Comedians Jokes For Kids
1. Why did the banana go to the doctor?
Because it wasn’t peeling well!
2. How do you make a tissue dance?
Put a little boogie in it!
3. Why was the math book sad?
Because it had too many problems.
4. Why did the scarecrow win an award?
Because he was outstanding in his field!
5. What do you call cheese that isn’t yours?
Nacho cheese!
6. Why don’t skeletons fight each other?
They don’t have the guts.
7. How do you organize a space party?
You planet!
8. Why was the computer cold?
Because it left its Windows open!
9. Why don’t eggs tell jokes?
Because they’d crack each other up.
10. Why did the chicken join a band?
Because it had the drumsticks!
11. What’s orange and sounds like a parrot?
A carrot!
12. Why do cows wear bells?
Because their horns don’t work!
13. What do you call a dog magician?
A labracadabrador!
14. Why did the cookie go to the hospital?
Because it felt crummy!
15. Why can’t Elsa hold a balloon?
Because she’ll let it go!
See also 110+ Funny Book Jokes And Puns
Family And Friends Comedians Jokes
1. Why did Dad bring a ladder to dinner?
Because he wanted to raise the steaks!
2. What did Mom say when the cookies disappeared?
“This smells like a crumby situation!”
3. Why did the brother bring a flashlight to school?
He wanted to be the brightest in class!
4. Why did Grandma always carry a ruler?
To measure how much fun everyone was having!
5. Why did the cousin sit next to the fridge?
He wanted to be cool!
6. Why do uncles tell the same jokes every time?
Because practice makes perfect…ly annoying!
7. Why was the sister always calm?
Because she knew how to chill with her sib-lings!
8. Why did Dad joke during a serious talk?
Because he just couldn’t help himself—it was pun-ishment!
9. What did the aunt say when the soup spilled?
“Well, that’s souper unfortunate!”
10. What do you get when cousins tell jokes together?
Double the laughs!
11. What do dads love to do at BBQs?
Grill the food… and everyone with jokes!
12. Why are family road trips always funny?
Because someone always drives everyone crazy!
13. What’s a family’s favorite type of joke?
A pun-demic! Because everyone catches it!
Comedians Jokes About Relationships
1. I told my partner I needed space… so they gave me the silent treatment. Worked!
2. I thought I was romantic until I realized lighting candles just meant we forgot to pay the electricity bill.
3. Relationships are 50/50 — you do the dishes, and I pretend to be asleep.
4. Dating apps are great — if you enjoy judging people like you’re on a reality show.
5. I told my girlfriend she should embrace her mistakes… so she hugged me.
6. My boyfriend and I are like a software update: he keeps improving while I’m just ignoring notifications.
7. Every relationship has arguments. Ours are just professional-level tournaments.
8. I finally found the perfect person… but they think I’m “too into dad jokes.”
9. My partner says I’m too clingy. I just want to hold their hand… all the time. Forever.
10. We have a strong relationship — mostly because neither of us wants to start dating again.
11. They say opposites attract. That’s why I’m neat, and they’re a beautiful disaster.
12. Love is all about compromise — like watching a movie neither of us wanted to see.
Comedians Jokes About Work
1. Why did the office worker sit on the copy machine?
He wanted to make some self copies!
2. Why don’t secrets last at the office?
Because the cubicles are always eavesdropping!
3. Why did the boss get glasses?
To improve his business vision!
4. Why did the keyboard go on vacation?
It needed to escape the typing pressure!
5. Why did the coffee file a complaint?
Because it was always being mugged!
6. Why did the stapler break up with the tape?
Because it couldn’t hold it together anymore!
7. Why was the pencil late to work?
It couldn’t draw itself out of bed!
8. Why did the computer apply for a raise?
It had too many tabs open!
9. Why did the worker take a ladder to work?
He was ready to climb the corporate ladder!
10. Why did the intern bring a blanket?
Because it was a chilly reception!
11. Why did the phone go to therapy?
It couldn’t handle the calls anymore!
12. Why don’t meetings ever end on time?
Because time checks out early!
13. Why was the clock hired at the company?
It was always on time!
14. Why did the whiteboard feel wiped out?
It had a clean slate every day!
15. Why did the accountant quit?
Because everything didn’t add up!
16. Why did the janitor win employee of the month?
He was sweeping the competition!
17. Why did the paper clip get promoted?
It always held things together!
See also 90+ Funny Office Jokes And Puns
Comedians Jokes About Food
1. Why did the tomato turn red?
Because it saw the salad dressing!
2. Why don’t eggs tell each other secrets?
Because they might crack up!
3. Why don’t bananas ever feel lonely?
Because they always hang out in bunches!
4. Why did the grapes stop in the middle of the road?
They ran out of juice!
5. Why did the pancake apply for a job?
It wanted to stack up some money!
6. Why was the chef so funny?
Because he always had a zest for life!
7. Why did the apple stop in the middle of the race?
It ran out of core strength.
8. Why did the salad blush?
Because it saw the ranch dressing!
9. Why don’t you fight with a sandwich?
Because it’s always packing something!
10. Why did the jelly always win races?
Because it knew how to jam!
11. Why was the orange so good at sports?
Because it had a lot of pulp!
12. Why don’t tacos trust anyone?
Because they think everyone is nacho friend!
13. Why did the broccoli go to therapy?
It had too many stalk issues.
14. Why did the donut go to school?
To get a little more glazed and confused!
15. What’s a cheeseburger’s favorite song?
“Sweet Bun of Mine”!
Comedians Puns
1. Stand-up comedy: the only job where dying on stage is still part of the act.
2. I asked my dog what’s funny—he said, “Paw-sitive energy!”
3. I once did a set in a bakery—audience was crumby, but I rose to the occasion.
4. My fridge tried stand-up once—it bombed because of cold delivery.
5. I wanted to be a comedian, but my timing was off… always.
6. I’m great at clean jokes—I wash every line before delivering.
7. I tried improv once… I winged it like a chicken.
8. I told a chemistry joke at a club—it got a reaction!
9. I asked the audience if they like puns—they said it was pun-ishment.
10. Told a joke about pizza—delivered extra cheesy.
11. I made a joke about bankers—no interest.
12. My comedy is so fresh, it needs to be kept in the crisper drawer.
13. I did a joke about beekeeping—people buzzed with laughter.
14. I wanted to be a pun comedian—turns out I nailed it.
15. My joke about Wi-Fi got a good connection with the crowd.
16. My set at the zoo? They said it was wild!
17. My comedy’s like a boomerang—if it flops, it comes back to hit me.
See also 100+ Funny Flower Jokes And Puns
Conclusion
Comedians jokes and puns are a timeless way to add humor to any occasion. Whether you’re cracking a joke with friends, lightening the mood at work, or just looking for something to make you smile, these clever lines never fail to deliver.
Puns and punchlines are a great reminder that laughter is the best medicine, and a little humor can go a long way in brightening someone’s day. So, the next time you’re in need of a good laugh, just pull out a few of these hilarious comedians jokes and keep the fun rolling!
