Football isn’t just about touchdowns, tackles, and team spirit—it’s also packed with moments that spark plenty of laughs. From locker-room banter to sideline silliness, humor has always been part of the game. Whether you’re a die-hard fan, a weekend player, or someone who just enjoys the excitement of match day, football jokes are a guaranteed way to keep the fun going long after the final whistle. So lace up your boots, grab your gear, and get ready to dive into a collection of football jokes that are sure to score big with fans of all ages.
Funny Football Jokes
1. What’s a football player’s favorite type of tea?
Penal-tea!
2. What’s a football player’s favorite type of music?
Rock and goal!
3. Why was the football stadium so cool?
Because it was filled with fans!
4. Why did the football bring string to the game?
In case it needed to tie the score!
5. What do you get when you cross a football player and a magician?
Hat trick!
6. Why are football players never asked to dinner?
Because they always hog the ball!
7. What did the football say to the punter?
I get a kick out of you!
8. What do you call a football team with a bakery?
The Rolling Scones!
9. Why don’t football players get hot?
Because they have fans!
10. What’s a ghost’s favorite football position?
Ghoulie-back!
11. Why are football players such bad chess players?
They can’t stop tackling the pawns!
12. What’s the difference between a football player and time?
Time runs out!
13. Why did the football team go to the library?
To get their playbook checked out!
14. Why did the football player go to art class?
He wanted to learn how to draw a play!
15. What do you call a football player who dances?
A touchdown boogie machine!
16. What do football players use to dry off?
Goal towels!
17. Why was the kicker so good at school?
He had a great aim!
18. How do football players like their eggs?
Over easy with a side of victory!
19. What position do pigs play in football?
Offensive swine!
20. Why did the referee get glasses?
He couldn’t see the goal!
21. What’s a football player’s favorite candy?
Touchdown Taffy!
22. Why did the quarterback take a nap?
He needed to catch up on his snaps!
23. How do you stop squirrels from playing football in your yard?
Hide the ball—it’s nut theirs!
24. Why did the football player sit on the bench?
He was too tired to stand up!
25. What do you call a football game with no rules?
Total chaos!
26. Why was Cinderella bad at football?
Because she always ran away from the ball!
27. What’s a football player’s favorite day of the week?
Sunday—game day!
28. What did the football coach say to the broken vending machine?
Give me my quarterback!
29. What do football players do when they’re bored?
They pass the time!
30. What did the lineman say to the quarterback?
I’ve got your back!
31. What’s a football player’s favorite fruit?
Touchdown tangerines!
32. Why do football players love jokes?
Because they love a good punch line!
33. How do you make a football team laugh?
Tell them a huddle joke!
34. Why did the wide receiver break up with the football?
He was tired of being passed around!
35. What’s a football player’s favorite snack?
Quarterback chips!
36. Why did the football team bring a ladder to the game?
To reach the top of the league!
37. What did the rookie say to the coach?
“I’ll try my punt-est!”
38. What does a football say when it’s feeling shy?
“I’m just here to kick it!”
39. Why don’t football teams use calendars?
They always lose track of the date!
40. Why do linemen love books?
Because they always cover the line!
See also Funny Cricket Jokes and Puns
Cowboys Football Jokes
1. What do you call a Dallas Cowboy with a Super Bowl ring?
A thief!
2. Why don’t the Cowboys play hide and seek?
Because good luck hiding when everyone’s always watching you lose!
3. How do the Cowboys count to ten?
0-1, 0-2, 0-3…
4. Why was the Cowboys fan upset at the library?
They wouldn’t let him check out a win!
5. What do the Cowboys and lawn chairs have in common?
They both fold in the playoffs!
6. Why did the Cowboys bring a pencil to the game?
To draw up some new excuses!
7. Why don’t the Cowboys use the internet?
They can’t find the winning connection!
8. What’s a Cowboys fan’s favorite wine?
“We used to be good!”
9. Why did the Cowboys get kicked out of the zoo?
They couldn’t stop monkeying around with the game plan!
10. Why do Cowboys players always carry a ladder?
They’re still trying to climb out of last place!
11. How do you know if a Cowboys fan is at your party?
Don’t worry—they’ll tell you within 30 seconds.
12. Why did the Cowboys take a nap on the field?
They thought it was another loss coming—so why fight it?
13. Why don’t Cowboys fans play chess?
They can’t handle the idea of a checkmate!
14. What’s the Cowboys’ favorite exercise?
Running… from the playoffs.
15. Why did the Cowboys player open a bakery?
He had a knack for turnovers.
16. Why don’t the Cowboys do well on reality shows?
Because they always get eliminated early!
Football Dad Jokes
1. I told my son to stop playing football on the computer…
He said, “But Dad, it’s fantasy league!”
2. What’s a football player’s favorite type of tea?
Penal-tea!
3. My dad said I’d never make it in football.
So I kicked that negativity away!
4. How does a football player stay cool?
By standing near the fans!
5. I told my dad I got tackled at recess.
He said, “Proud of you, son!”
6. Why did the dad coach get a whistle?
So he could finally get the kids to listen!
7. My football jokes are terrible…
But they always score laughs!
8. Why do dads love football season?
It’s the only time yelling at the TV is acceptable!
9. What did dad say when the game went into overtime?
“Guess I’ll delay mowing the lawn another hour.”
10. How do football dads stay in shape?
By running late to every game!
11. Why did Dad wear cleats to the store?
He thought he might need to tackle savings!
12. What’s a dad’s favorite football snack?
Pigskin in a blanket!
See also 330+ Funny Dad Jokes
Football Jokes for Adults
1. Why don’t football players ever go broke?
Because they know how to cover their assets!
2. Why do football players make bad dates?
They’re always rushing!
3. Why did the football player get kicked out of the party?
He couldn’t stop trying to tackle the snacks.
4. What’s a football player’s favorite pickup line?
“Mind if I touch down in your DMs?”
5. Why don’t football players trust referees?
Because they always blow things out of proportion.
6. What’s a football fan’s least favorite yoga pose?
The fumbleasana.
7. Why was the football team always broke?
Because their checks kept bouncing off the goalposts!
8. Why did the coach go to therapy?
Too many issues with commitment… and defense.
9. Why did the tight end break up with his girlfriend?
She kept intercepting his texts!
10. How do football players stay calm?
Deep end-zone breathing.
11. Why don’t quarterbacks read books?
They prefer passing knowledge around.
12. Why did the linebacker stay single?
He had commitment issues on and off the field.
13. Why was the football team always tired?
Because they kept running plays all night.
14. Why did the referee cross the road?
To make a controversial call on the other side!
Football Jokes for Kids & Classrooms
1. Why did the football team go to music class?
Because they wanted to learn how to play in harmony!
2. What’s a football’s favorite shape?
A goal-o-gram!
3. Why did the football go to detention?
It was caught kicking during math class!
4. What subject do football players love most?
P.E. — because they always get to score!
5. Why was the little football so shy?
It didn’t want to be kicked around.
6. What do you call a football game in art class?
A draw!
7. Why did the coach bring a pencil to class?
To draw up some plays!
8. What did the football say during storytime?
“Let’s kick off the next chapter!”
9. Why did the football player get an A+ in spelling?
Because he knew how to tackle every word!
10. What do you call a football player who loves math?
A quarter-backslash genius!
11. Why was the football always tired at school?
Because it stayed up all night bouncing ideas.
12. What did the referee say in the library?
“No rough reading in the end zone!”
13. What’s a football team’s favorite school supply?
A huddle notebook!
14. Why did the football go to art class?
To learn how to draw perfect plays!
Touchdown One-Liners & Sideline Banter
1. I’m not saying I’m fast, but even the football asked me to slow down!
2. Sundays are for touchdowns and takeout.
3. My game plan? Snack, nap, repeat — until kickoff.
4. I’m just here for the huddle hugs and end zone dances.
5. Warning: May shout “TOUCHDOWN!” at inappropriate moments.
6. I play fantasy football — because real football won’t draft me.
7. That pass was smoother than my dance moves (and that’s saying something).
8. I’m only one bad call away from turning into a coach.
9. My spirit animal? A referee — calm outside, flag-ready inside.
10. Football taught me two things: trust your team… and your snacks.
11. I’d tackle Monday if it meant getting to Sunday faster.
12. If you need me, I’ll be on the couch — reviewing plays and chips.
Football Knock Knock Jokes
1. Knock, knock. Who’s there? Honey. Honey who? Honey you glad I buzzed over?
2. Knock, knock. Who’s there? Huddle. Huddle who? Huddle up, it’s game time!
3. Knock, knock. Who’s there? Touch. Touch who? Touch down and relax—it’s football time!
4. Knock, knock. Who’s there? Blitz. Blitz who? Blitz get ready to cheer!
5. Knock, knock. Who’s there? Pigskin. Pigskin who? Pigskin up some jokes for the big game!
6. Knock, knock. Who’s there? Snap. Snap who? Snap out of it! You’re on the team!
7. Knock, knock. Who’s there? Field. Field who? Field so good when my team wins!
8. Knock, knock. Who’s there? Goal. Goal who? Goal your own way, I’m rooting for my team!
9. Knock, knock. Who’s there? Ref. Ref who? Ref-lect on your plays—you’re losing!
10. Knock, knock. Who’s there? Pass. Pass who? Pass me the chips and the remote!
11. Knock, knock. Who’s there? Sack. Sack who? Sack up, it’s fourth down!
12. Knock, knock. Who’s there? Cleat. Cleat who? Cleat-ing up the field with our win!
13. Knock, knock. Who’s there? End. End who? End zone or bust!
14. Knock, knock. Who’s there? Coach. Coach who? Coach you believe we won?!
15. Knock, knock. Who’s there? Halftime. Halftime who? Halftime flies when you’re having fun!
16. Knock, knock. Who’s there? Helmet. Helmet who? Helmet me figure out who just scored!
Football Coach & Referee Jokes
1. Why did the coach carry a whistle everywhere?
Because even his coffee breaks needed discipline!
2. What do you call a coach who never laughs?
A serious kicker.
3. Why did the coach get a light bulb as a gift?
Because he always has bright ideas!
4. What’s a referee’s favorite kind of math?
Counting penalties!
5. Why did the referee go to comedy school?
He wanted to improve his timing!
6. Why did the referee wear sunglasses at night?
Too many players were throwing shade!
7. Why don’t coaches ever get lost?
They always follow their game plan.
8. What’s a referee’s favorite dessert?
Flag cake!
9. Why did the coach yell at the grass?
Because the field wasn’t following directions!
10. Why did the referee keep a journal?
So he could remember every foul moment!
Football Puns
1. I’m goal-ing to the game no matter what!
2. That was an un-beat-able play!
3. I’m just trying to kick it today.
4. Let’s tackle the day like pros.
5. You’re the quarterback of my heart.
6. I’m feeling a little deflated—must be Monday.
7. That win was field-tastic!
8. You’re a real game changer.
9. I’m all about that extra point in life.
10. Just trying to stay on the ball.
11. Snap out of it—it’s game time!
12. I’ve got a crush route on football.
13. Don’t be so offside with your comments!
14. He’s such a tight end, and not just on the field.
15. That was a touchdown of a day!
16. It’s not just a game, it’s a way of huddle.
17. I’m always down to kick it with friends.
18. Let’s punt all our worries away.
19. Football season is my end zone of happiness.
20. Let’s not fumble this weekend!
21. The team’s spirit is first down fabulous.
22. You really sacked that joke.
23. This party is red zone ready!
24. I can’t pass on watching the game.
25. That win was totally clutch.
26. You’re a total MVP—Most Valuable Punster.
27. Let’s keep this convo moving the chains.
28. He’s a real rush to hang out with.
29. I’m just here for the halftime snacks.
30. I’m totally blitzed with excitement!
See also 170+ Funny Golf Jokes and Puns
FAQs (Frequently Asked Questions)
Conclusion
Football jokes bring fun and happiness to everyone who loves the game. Their simple and playful humor makes them enjoyable for all ages. Whether shared at home, with friends, or online, football jokes always make people laugh. They remind us that even serious matches can have funny moments. That’s why football jokes stay popular with players, fans, and sports lovers everywhere.